Odorous Pescado

 As an adult I have had the opportunity to eat some great food and now living in the Northwest the King Salmon is at the culinary apex.  This is the fish locals and visitors choose and think of when you mention Seattle.  I never had the opportunity to eat fresh fish as a child.  I did however have the opportunity to eat any fish I caught when camping with the family.  I caught mostly yellow belly cat fish and blue gill, not the most appetizing fish and never large enough to actually eat.  I’m not even sure my mom could cook fresh fish if given the opportunity. Let’s leave the cat fish fry to the Cajuns.  Although leery, on my first visit to the great Northwest I quickly jumped at the opportunity to order a fresh salmon dinner.  It took only one bite of fresh salmon to erase the bad memories of canned salmon patties served at my house for dinner.  Salmon patties made from canned salmon!  Imagine the smell!  Imagine the oily, nasty discolored meaty flesh clinging to the inside of the squatty round can, freshly opened with a can opener that has never been washed.  Now before you say, but your mom didn’t have access to fresh fish, I say you are correct.  But listen to what I’m saying, can salmon tastes nothing like fresh salmon.  Add that to the fact that Marie could mess up box macaroni and then she pulls out the salmon patties.  C’mon man!  This could have been my greatest nightmare dinner.  Miles from the front door you had an olfactory sense of the death patties that waited lingering on the dinner plate.  The odor of cooking salmon patties would overcome every distinct smell of my memory.  Worse than liver and onions any day of the week.   The putrid stench of that single patty on my plate made me sweat like Mike Tyson taking the SAT.  I could barely choke it down, second only to canned peas, and never a condiment to mask the flavor or odor.  The salmon patty has taken over my memory right now and I cannot, for the life of me, recall any side dish that may have accompanied it.  Could it be possible that there is no side dish capable of complementing the salmon patty?  If that is so, then why serve these?  Canned salmon should be served to cats with no sense of smell, that live outside in remote parts of the world, or at least another area code.  Marie’s salmon patties would quite possibly be a strong deterrent for prisoners serving short sentences.  The fear of the salmon patty meal would send shivers to any hardened criminal.  Do yourself a favor, if you choose fish for your next meal and you even think about salmon patties, think again, cat food should not be pattyized for human consumption.  You will be better served to heat up the Gorton’s Fish Sticks.

A note from the Easter dinner Sloppy Joes!  They were delicious.  I found that the soy was overpowering, cut it out or back depending on your taste.  Here’s the recipe if you wish to partake:

In a large skillet add 1TBL Olive oil, over medium high heat.  Add 1.5# of ground turkey and season with 1TBL of poultry seasoning, salt and pepper.  Cook until browned and then stir in 1 small red pepper chopped, 1 small onion chopped and 2 cloves of garlic chopped and cook until the vegetables are tender.  In a bowl, stir together 1cup tomato sauce, ¼ cup maple syrup, 3TBL soy sauce, 2TBL cider vinegar, 2TBL brown sugar and 1TBL Dijon mustard.  Pour the sauce over the meat and vegetable mixture and simmer over med-low heat to combine flavors.  Serve on a bun with shredded cheese or favorite topping.