Permission?

Sue, my wife, came into the kitchen Halloween morning and said, “Answer this, it’s your mother.”  I hesitantly took the ringing phone from her and answered.  The thought of hearing my mothers’ voice only hours after the group email, the one sent to friends and family letting them know about this blog, was sending shivers down my spine.  The shivers came because the email was not sent to her.  My nervousness I guess was coming from the reaction she may have being left out of the loop.  You don’t leave my mother out of the loop.  Who told her about this blog?  Is she pissed?  What could I possibly say to her to calm her down?  What could I say that would allow her to reclaim me as her offspring?  “Hi mom, how’s it going?”  Holding my breath, she asked how the family was doing.  Exhale.  After a short conversation of cheery exchanges, I felt the obligation to let her in on Crap She Made Me Eat.  With hesitation I explained this blog to her.  I guess I didn’t know what to expect, but she is good with it.  She has not read any part of it yet; maybe her attitude will change after reading.  Apparently her perception of her culinary aptitude is lower than even I expected.  I take this as free reign to rip any or all meals served at my house during my 18 years of living at home.  It’s funny how my brain works.  She even wants to help.  I’m sure her adult memory is better than my childhood memories, although my memories are probably more accurate.  She will claim it wasn’t as bad as we made it out to be.  Sorry mom, my three sisters will back me up, and more times than not my dad will also concur.  But hey, we aren’t picking on you we are just stating the facts as we recall.  So this rainy Seattle day I give you………………………………. my Aunt’s recipe for simple chicken noodles.  This recipe was served every family get together.  For all I know it was the only recipe my Aunt could cook.  This is a good wholesome German/Pennsylvania Dutch recipe minus the home made noodles, my Aunt cheated.  First you need to find some good Kluski noodles, a 1 lb bag.  These were very easy to find in NW Ohio, not so much here in the great NW.  Next you need 32oz of box or can chicken broth, salt and pepper.  Heat broth until boiling, add noodles, cook until noodles are cooked and broth has now turned into a heavy syrup/glaze, season with the salt and pepper.  Serve with your favorite mashed potatoes, bread or biscuits and a cold glass of milk and you may have the whitest (color) carbohydrate laden meal of your entire life.  I f you are the adult prepare to loosen your belts and be really lethargic afterwards.  As a young boy this recipe made me more jikt up than eating Snickers bar washed down with Mountain Dew.  A pure carbohydrate high.  How else could you suffer through my family functions, I wasn’t old enough to drink and my grandpa wasn’t sharing the Jack Daniels.  Otherwise what was the purpose?